Heart of a Lion.

I want to point out an interesting aspect about being a volunteer and having some of my best friends in Peace Corps throughout the world, Michelle in Panama on a remote tropical island with no electricity or running water, Brooke in a small beach town in Ecuador with not many resources not at

 Her fingertips, Toby with internet in his apartment in Kavarna on the Black Sea, the Rock & Roll Capital of Bulgaria with murals of Billy Idol and AC/DC in the city, and the newest edition, Roger in Mali in West Africa, one of the poorest nations in the world, who will most likely be living in a mud hut.  When I talk to my friends in each of these countries, there is one thing that never changes, we all go through the same frustrations, difficult cultural adaptations, missing home and friends, and the roller coaster ride of emotions that volunteers seem to know so well.  We understand each other in ways no one will ever be able to understand unless you are a Peace Corps Volunteer.  One thing is for certain, we can all have some sort of contact with each other and home, and know that at the end of two years, we can return to our comfort zones back in the states to everything we know.  In the Peace Corps, we are considered professionals who are well respected and as I pointed out in the past blog, sometimes lose part of our identity to integrate into our culture, but nonetheless, people seek upon us as our knowledge is different and accepted in ways, which would never really occur in the U.S. 

            Thinking about the way we are accepted into other countries and loved by the locals and reading current events in the U.S. led me to reflect on the Immigration issues brewing.

            This has always been an important issue to me as it is so misunderstood and until recently, added along racial profiling under the terminology of “immigration reform.”  Hearing the news of this brought tears to my eyes as I think of the many innocent people, the majority from Latin American countries, migrating to the U.S. in hopes of creating a better life for themselves, and possibly their families.  Many immigrants come to work in extremely harsh conditions, such as in the agriculture industry, bent over for hours picking strawberries, risking pesticide poisoning, almost no access to health care, sometimes even no access to running water or proper sanitation, even food.  Many may say, they came here by choice.  I agree, I came to another country by choice as well, the difference, I am here on part of the U.S. government as a professional, and the underlying privilege which is often disregarded, that I was born and live in the U.S.  Because of this, many people want to know you, they believe you, no matter how little money they have, there is always a offering of food or something for you.  This makes my life easier as it is a struggle to try to grasp the language, understand the different cultural norms, be in another country in general, especially when you are far from everything you know, especially your support system, family & friends. 

            I could never imagine immigrating to the U.S., getting the most physically demanding jobs, struggling with a new language, adapting to a new culture, being away from family and friends, and top of this all, being incredibly discriminated against.  The way people even talk about illegal immigrants, which mostly happen to be from Mexico and Central America, and how stupid they are, even how they don’t deserve anything sickens me. Think about it, these people are often learning at least their second language, and dealing with a whole new culture, one where most families will not open up their arms and doors to these outsiders to share a meal with them.

            It hurts to hear here in Paraguay how often people ask me about racism in the U.S.  Mainly because of the sort of media shown here, people ask me if we still hang African Americans, and they see on the news the way illegal immigrants are always sent to jail just for trying to work.  It is really unfortunate that this is a common view, that we, as in people from the United States are extremely racist.  Understanding the power and privilege the U.S. wields, as a country, we should strive to create a good example, not one based on being racist, creating unjustified wars, violent and tortuous, or everyone being rich, but a place that is just to all.

            The name of the blog is entitled “Heart of a Lion” based on the Kid Cudi song, because I feel that this encapsulates what must be endured by immigrants, especially in a society in which racism is becoming more institutionalized day by day.  I urge everyone to think and take action to stop the politicians acting irrationally and educate people around you because everyone deserves the right to a better life, and especially to be treated equally.

I dedicate this blog to any person who has immigrated to the U.S., or tried to live in another country, especially my mom who has endured more racism, and discrimination than many people will ever know or have to go through.

This posting is ESPECIALLY not connected to the U.S. government, but my own views.

The View from my apartment over the river.

            

Fuerza Albirroja!!!

Here in South America, winter has been entered upon. Although most must assume that winter is not “real” here in Paraguay since it is one of the tropical countries, let me assure you Paraguay is a subtropical country, and it has been ever so hard to leave my bolsa de dormir (sleeping bag) since the start of July due to the coldness.

July started with a trip to Asuncion, the Capital and into the Chaco to a self sufficient agricultural high school is located for a 4 day training. This school was amazing because they produced their own food and created their own income through selling the goods created at the school. This was during the World Cup, so needless to say, training had to be stopped mid-training to watch Paraguay play.

Being in Paraguay during the World Cup was really amazing. Paraguay was one of only 6 Peace Corps countries that qualified, and as they made it into the Semi-quarter finals besides Ghana. So, basically Paraguay was going crazy. School was basically cancelled on the days that Paraguay was playing, and most businesses shut down to watch the game. As goals were scored, I could hear fireworks, horns, and screams of joy erupting all over the town. As soon as the game was over and Paraguay had either won, or tied but was to advance, many rushed out of their homes into their cars covered in Paraguay flags, wearing their soccer jerseys, to parade up and down the streets blasting music, yelling for joy, and many, celebrating by drinking beer while doing all the other things. Things were exciting needless to say, and you really felt left out if you weren’t wearing some article of clothing related to Paraguayan soccer.

The main plaza in Asuncion on game day.

Needless to say, it was exciting time here as there was Paraguayan pride to be found everywhere throughout the country. It was an exciting time as Paraguay is usually an unknown country in the heart of South America, but the World Cup and the Paraguayan National Team really did start to put Paraguay on a map as many were surprised to see such a small country advance so far. Who knows, maybe Paraguay will win next World Cup in Brazil, 2014!

Watching the Semi-Finals in Asuncion

Beyond this, the coldness has coincided perfectly with the teacher strike and the 2-week winter vacation. The week before the vacation was to begin, teachers went on strike due to low salaries, this occurs often here, as it has been the third one this year. However, this cancelled school for that week, and is said to go for another 45 days. This was also besides the winter vacation. Now, besides the strike, the Ministry of Education and Culture gave another week of vacation off because it has been so cold.

You might think Paraguay being cold is a joke, but in the past few weeks, the temperature dropped to 30 degrees one night. I know that this temperature is weak and nothing really in comparison to the winter temps in Lake Tahoe, but imagine this…30 degrees in a country where heaters only exist in the wealthiest houses in the country, fireplaces are more rare, where the houses are built to endure the heat, so they are all cement or plywood buildings with single pane windows if there are windows, and cement or tile floors, with many holes for open air to come into your house. So basically I never left my sleeping bag, which is equipped for 25 degrees. Best and most useful present my mom and dad have ever given me. I lived in long underwear with another pair of pants over, record was up to 4 shirts with a heavy jacket on that was worn inside and outside as the temperatures are the same. Needless to say, it was also painful to take showers or even go to the bathroom. I laid in bed seeing my breath as I was breathing. Beyond this, I happened to get a horrible cold so was stranded in my sleeping bag too sick to leave, and listened to lots of music.
Besides the cold factor, washing my clothes was not really an option either. Besides the fact my hands would freeze off from leaving them under the cold running water to hand scrub all my clothes because washers and dryers are few and far inbetween, due to the humidity, clothes would never dry without the sun and would only get moldy and get that awesome musty smell I love my clothes to smell of. Laundry just makes my life so much more difficult sometimes, but hey, it is relaxing to wash my clothes outside on a nice day.

I talk about the weather often because this country for sure has some extremes, which are even more prevalent as every building you walk into is not equipped with air conditioning or heat. I becoming better, harder, faster, stronger….or maybe just more comfortable with whatever happens, happens. It shows me what I, or humans in general can endure and how much of that is lost back home, or maybe how much I wish Lake Tahoe was here in the summer and my fireplace in my room these past few weeks.

"When there is no struggle, there is no change." -Frederick Douglass

The common view of the Peace Corps in the U.S. is one that shows volunteers building schools in these poor countries, installing running water, or overall very large-scale projects. However, the reality of life and work of a volunteer is very different from this. Things vary greatly depending on your country, and especially within your country to the site you live in. Each one of my friends experience different types of work because of the different needs in each community, to the money available, to the resources the volunteer may offer or have interest in, to the size of your community. I live in a more urban site so there is more money. However, along with more money, there is great need as the gap between rich and poor within my city is very prevalent.
As the school year began in the end of February, I started attending school to get to know the teachers and have an idea what types of things they are interested in. My main contact is the Coordinator of Projects for the middle school aged kids. She is extremely motivated and has many ideas for big projects, but just does not have the support she needs in terms of expertise of subjects, development of projects, and how to continue the project. This is where I come in. She has wanted to create a project entitled, “Zero Waste Campaign.” However, her hopes for this project are not only for this school of 1,200 students, but she wants this to be institutionalized within every school in my city, and later into all of Paraguay. This makes sense because trash is a big problem and this project includes the maintenance of schools, consciousness of environmental problems so that students learn to value and keep the environment healthy, a school garden to promote nutrition as students are encountering many problems with health here, and environmental leadership though a youth forum in which all schools can attend. Needless to say, this project is large, but since I have experience with large projects, I am excited and motivated. I have already completed with my contact the budget and proposed project, which will soon be presented to local and state governments, but also other organizations in hopes to receive the funding.
As I started with my school, I was introduced to a NGO named PREVER, which focuses on drug addiction, but also other threats to creating and/or maintaining healthy communities. This NGO gets their funding from Spain, but the funding is for their community center and to pay the salaries of the main workers who are a combination of social workers and psychologists. This NGO works in the most marginalized neighborhoods of Encarnacion to promote sustainable development through helping to find health care at reduced costs, classes to promote new jobs like cosmetology, computer science, etc, and many youth leadership groups. The women who work there are amazing and are eager to use my knowledge in the environmental field. With that said, I work mainly with a Social Worker named Francieli who is Brazilian, but grew up in Paraguay. She is about 26, studying to get another undergrad degree in Psychology and wants to study somewhere else in the world for her masters. Anyways, I spend a lot of time with her and we developed a family gardening project. We surveyed about 50 families about if they had gardens, would like one, have health problems due to lack of nutrition, and/or have space for a garden. Essentially we narrowed this group down to 12 families in which we will be providing technical assistance by me on the gardens, and we are still asking for funding so each family can receive tools, seeds, and other resources necessary for the project. This project spans from my class last Thursday until this October. Many of these families once lived in the country and had land, but due to outside pressures and lack of economic resources, were forced to sell this land and move to the city in search of a better life. Needless to say, many of them lost their knowledge about gardens, and many suffer from malnutrition since they can not afford vegetables. In this sense, I am teaching them some biology, ecology, social sciences, and nutrition throughout the course of this project. I am super excited about this project because it is all older women with a couple younger women around my age and although they have spiked their curiosity in me the foreigner, they want to have gardens to empower themselves and their families for a healthier lifestyle. In this venture, I have been inspired to begin my urban gardening as I will begin to garden on the roof of my apartment, probably the first in Paraguay that isn’t just herbs…
Both of these projects have taken a lot of my time to plan, but are finally underway. I am really into both of them and have some other great ideas for projects, which will soon become developed, and I will let you all know. Another thing I am spending a lot of my time on right now is making recycle furniture and crafts for my new apartment…Take a gander of my pic of the trashcan I wove out of newspaper…ballin!

The Illusion of Freedom.

Many times people from the U.S. symbolize their country with freedom. In other words, the U.S. is synonymous with freedom. Freedom of speech. Freedom to choose. Freedom to be an individual. Freedom to create your identity without the fear of being persecuted…or wait, is this really true?
The Peace Corps has given me insight of what sort of context portrays in my everyday life.
In terms of neoliberalism, free trade is the utopian type of hyper capitalism with a side of freedom for those who operate in this system. The freedom to exploit women and children for labor. The freedom for corporations to cross borders freely to pursue lessened labor laws and environmental laws. The freedom to pollute air, water, and people, as much as you want. The freedom of consumption. Although I could go on, elitists in power also have the freedom to pick and choose the freedoms allowed to everyone else.
The freedom to live without persecution based merely on the color of your skin doesn’t exist, just ask Arizona…The freedom to choose an alternative economic system because apparently exploitation of people and nature are the ultimate model of freedom. The freedom to stand up for what you believe in without being reprimanded in society. The freedom to say that 22,000 people dead in Mexico just based on the past 3 years due to the Drug War initiated by the U.S. is not worth the lives of innocent people it has cost. With this said, all I am asking for is the freedom to be me.
The Peace Corps has presented a fair amount of challenges and questions as I beg for the freedom to be me. We join this government organization in helps of helping to sustainably develop a country in the global south. What I have I realized? The inability to be ourselves.
The first day of training we have 3 rules drilled into our head from Peace Corps Paraguay. No riding motorcycles, no drugs, and no crossing into other countries without telling Peace Corps. I do understand that these rules exist for our own safety, but I am just providing another outlook. These may not seem like such big problems until you understand that motos are to Paraguayans as adderall is to college students during finals week. Crossing into other countries, I live a 10 minute bus ride over a bridge to get into Argentina. I have to take vacation days to go there for a day. As for drugs, they are prevalent as Paraguay is a major exporter in the world of Marijuana. I am not saying that I have a desire to do any of these things or even will if I didn’t have these rules in place, but the freedom is taken away instantly.
Another part of being a volunteer is adapting and integrating into the culture and especially within your site. Peace Corps volunteers are supposed to be the epitome and example of a U.S. citizen. In many of our communities we may be the 1st or only person from the U.S. these people may meet. With this said, people form opinions easily based on this one volunteer that they meet. I find myself trying hard to fit in and being nice to everyone so I am well rounded and liked with no hard feelings. It is nearly impossible to express my opinions or many of my ideas because this could harm my relationship with many people that I need to have relationships with.
This really has affected my mental and emotional state. With this said, the family I was living with literally drove me into another state of mind, and where I usually speak up for myself, I found myself restricting and suppressing my emotions because I had to maintain this relationship for my jobs sake. I suppressed those emotions to the point in which I almost came home because I was in such a bad state. The thing about peace corps is not only the fact that job and home life is the same thing, but that we continue to go through extremes of emotions, a great amount of ups and downs, the 2 year roller coaster. The fact that my job depends on my relationships and vice versa, it was really hard for me to pack up and just leave, beyond this, it was hard to be me and speak my mind.
My solution to this dilemma was moving out because I could not bear to stay in that house a minute longer. As my search was intense to find a place of my own within my peace corps salary, I had to compromise things, but anything was better than being in that house. I needed some space that I could call mine and not worry about being constantly supervised. 5 months into living in my site and I finally got it.
Freedom is something we take for granted the way I took washers and dryers for granted in the states where now I wash everything by hand. To me having the freedom to be my own person is very difficult as I strive day to day to adjust to this culture. The freedom I have to be me was taken away and with that, my mental health. I still ask myself if this job is really worth that? Is it worth losing my identity to be here? As I go on questions persist, but I realize how much exponentially happier I am to have a place to call my own. I know this blog is slightly intense, but it is something I think about here a lot and I think it is an important part of all of our lives. As Bob Marley says, “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.”
Til next time, Lots of Love from the heart of South America….

A few pics to gander...

So i have not updated my blog in awhile, but I am in the process of writing about my happenings. Needless to say, I have encountered many changes recently in everything I am getting involved in, and new challenges. I would also like to add that the earthquakes were not felt here, Paraguay is not known to have any natural disasters, but thanks for thinking of me anyways. I look forward to updating you, but here are a few pics from my trip to the Jesuit Ruins of Paraguay which are about 1 hour away from my site...

The Environmental Side of Life....

So I will dedicate this blog post to a more environmental perspective on Paraguay and my site of Encarnacion.
So, I tend to talk a lot about the heat these days whenever people ask me how im doing. I suppose this is me becoming Paraguayan because my conversations with Paraguayans usually go like this, “Its really hot today,” “Yup, I’m really sweaty,” “yup, want some terere?” “yes,” “so you really don’t eat meat? Not even chicken” “nope, not even chicken.” “It is really hot out today.” “Yea, I hope it rains.” “Its hard to function when its this hot.” “Yea, I think I am going to go walking right now for a bit.” “Are you crazy? It is way too hot out there!” “Yes, but I cant stand sitting in the heat anymore, at least I will be moving” this is proceeded by many strange looks and confusion as I walk through my neighborhood and receive long stares as I walk by in the middle of the day as everyone is sitting in the shade drinking terere. This is how they realize that my looks are deceiving and am actually not Paraguayan, but a loco norte.
Many Paraguayans believe that this year is one of the hottest that they have experienced, which means I have great luck! Or not at all…But anyways, I have heard a couple, litereally, of Paraguayans say, I heard that it is more hot because we keep cutting down all the trees in the country…BINGO!!! Let my role as an environmental educator proceed. So, I continue to explain that this is true, trees play a vital role in the climate and are making it much hotter than ever before experienced. This is interesting because Paraguay has one of the highest deforestation rates in the world for a country of its size, and continues cutting trees. My site is situated in the Atlantic Forest of the Alto Parana (BAAPA), which is a major ecological and economic resource. Sadly, little of this forest is left and on the drive from Asuncion to my site, you can see the forest islands all around with either agricultural plots taking the place, or simply grazing land. I have heard of these forest islands in my environmental classes, but actually seeing them really gave me a new realization of what they actually mean, and how devastating they look.
Another important issue here I encountered the first day in Paraguay is trash. I gasped in horror when I saw my first Paraguayan take their soda bottle and throw it out the bus window…I suppose I got used to it after this happened repeatedly when they were walking down the dirt road to throw their candy wrappers on the floor, lots of soda bottles, and plastic bags. Many of the houses where my friends lived didn’t even have trash cans. The reality is, there is not an adequate trash management system in general, so most Paraguayans either throw it on the ground, place it in a hole in their backyard, or put it in a pile across the street to burn. Burning is the most popular method of controlling trash since digging holes can be labor intensive, especially in the heat.
There are also the problems brought about by the dam. These problems are large and include things such as water contamination as the lower parts of the city become inundated, lowering of fish populations, and new climates as the river expands in size. The dam has so many problems associated with it, not only environmentally, but socially. I have been researching the history, and this dam was largely funded by the World Bank and the Inter-American Development Bank, which really makes me question the whole project. It is owned by both the government in Argentina and Paraguay, and the contract was created while both countries were in dictatorships, so they largely benefit outside companies, and a lot of the loans given by the international institutions has been “unaccounted for.” So, the Entidad Binacional was created in hopes of mitigating social and environmental problems created by the dam, such as my neighborhood, where they built all the houses for those displaced. I am pretty sure a statistic said the Entidad has actually only barely used about a third of its money with the rest being “lost.” On a side note, because I have a lot of academic interest in world institutions such as the World Bank and their “development” aid throughout Latin America, I am working to research this more and hopefully write a paper about this with the help from a generous professor at UC Santa Cruz. Needless to say, it couldn’t be more of a perfect site as I live in a displaced community as the inundations are still taking place and about a 5 minute walk from the Entidad.
So, there are a lot of environmental issues, beyond the extensive social issues, going on here in Paraguay which I am trying to learn about day by day. I know my thoughts are too radical for the politics and role of the Yacyreta Dam, in this country as Peace Corps volunteers are supposed to remain neutral, it seems like I need to help in some way to show people that not all development projects are bad and can actually help the people, especially in terms of the environment. Currently I am trying to work with the Red Cross here in the city on AIDS education and am hoping to start help leading discussions with adolescents about environmental issues and self-esteems, drug addiction, things that are affecting them currently in this border city. School will begin at the end of February, so I will have more work then as well.

Another side note, there was another Churro siting as I was on the bus and the man next to me was selling them…Yes, I bought one, it was fate….

Also happy birthday to some people I wish I could be celebrating with: my dad, Chuck Norris!!! Wahoo, A certain Peace Corps Volunteer in Bulgaria who goes by the alias of Tobias Highlander Hewitt, and a new adult to the world, Dempsey.

Killing me Softly...

So, on this blog post, I have decided to include various lyrics of songs and song titles because well, I have a lot of time, and music is close to my heart these days as I am by myself in a foreign country with more time than I have ever heard before.
The heat in Paraguay…Killing me softly, even though this probably isn’t what The Fugees were talking about when they wrote this song. The heat is beyond my wildest dreams of anytime I was in Tahoe praying for the snow to go away, well, I would gladly sit in that coldness. Lets talk about the heat, it is about 95-100 degrees everyday with lots of humidity on top…Well I know everyone probably is thinking it must cool off in the evening, well, no, it gets to about 90, and lets just say, I cant sleep many nights because it is too hot. Also, we must remember that this temperature does not seem all that bad when it occurs in the U.S….the difference in Paraguay? There is not air conditioning in every building you walk into, actually air conditioning is a rare commodity, as most cant afford the expenses, so most sit outside hoping for a breeze and drinking ice cold terere or sit under their fans…Something I cant go to sleep without. In other news, since I go on long walks, after about 20 minutes there is usually sweat dripping down my face uncontrollably with a rather moist shirt and on occasion, some sweat through my pants. Life is fun, but it would be better if Jimmy Buffett delivered me a nice cold Piña Colada. So this is why Paraguay has made me fall in love with ice, carrying a sweat rag everywhere to wipe down my face, and my fan.
The Smashing Pumpkins smash hit, The Beginning is the End is the Beginning pretty much captures my first month in Encarnacion. I came here extremely eager to start my work as a Peace Corps Volunteer, meet new people, and integrate into my new community…One obstacle….the dreaded holiday season. So I arrived in site December 15th, perfect timing to move in with a family you barely know, to share Christmas and New Years, two extreme family holidays together. Bring on the awkwardness. As I sat, Christmas Eve finally came, I was told to bring my own food because Paraguayans just eat meat, usually, but especially for the festive dinner at midnight. So I prepared bean salad in my tupperwear to bring and baked apple empenadas for everyone. Paraguayans eat lots of empanadas, but they usually consist of meat, eggs, cheese, or mixtures of those three, so I was going out on a limb here. When we arrived, I don’t think I have ever seen that much in my life…I thought my mom’s family and others from mexico were carnivorous, well, Paraguay makes them look vegan. There was a lot of awkward moments as people just stared at me because clearly im an outsider at a all family dinner.
Random moment of Paraguay that makes the world small, and a break in my awkwardness. So, after finding out that my host moms family have traveled to several places in the world, I was talking to their daughters, and one kept asking me the city I lived in in California, well I finally was like a small town in the mountains with snow and a big lake called Lake Tahoe, as if she would have no idea where it is. WELL, little did I know, last year she was one of those foreigners that comes to Lake Tahoe to work at the ski resorts for about 4 months. I couldent believe it, she talked about Cabo Wabo, Vex, the street she lived on in Stateline, it was so surreal. Who would of thought…
So anyways, after a HUGE meal at midnight, champagne, pan dulce, and lots of kissing and hugging at midnight, it was about 2:30am and we went home. The next day, Christmas, nothing is celebrated so there is lots of sitting in the heat. It was a really hard day for me the moment I woke up as I couldent smell the delicious breakfast my mom makes, my dad blasting Mexican music, and my brother saying how he has perfected my mom’s recipes. And last but not least, there was no smell of a pine tree, or a decorated tree and no SNOW!!! I couldent down the minutes for the day to be over, and talked to my Peace Corps friends to reflect on our homesickness and how much happier we would be the next day.
New Years was quickly approaching and I didn’t think I could make it again in awkwardness, so I arranged to visit my friend Jessica about 2 hours away in Ayolas for about 5 days. This made my life complete. So much english to be spoken, homemade tortillas for tacos, French toast, pizza, bruchetta, That 70’s Show, life was good. We celebrated New Years Eve with her contact’s family with another large dinner at midnight. This was nice to just have a friend to celebrate with, and get some texts from home with a New year message.
So now, I sit around, so happy the holiday season has ended at last, even though the heat will continue for a few more months. As The Beatles said, I am gonna get through all of this with A Little Help from my Friends.